My double life as wedding photographer

Hi there~
Happy Sunday~. I don't know what's wrong with me and I'm thinking to write this kind of post as I rarely talk about it but I love it. Usually, I just posted the photos I took on my blog, social media and website and I never talk about how I feel when I take those photos. So, today I want to share about my double life as a wedding photographer. I called it double life because some people don't really know I am a freelance wedding photographer. I still a beginner even after so many years now, I still have to learn and I don't know if I can be called myself as a wedding photographer but I love that, so I will just call myself that and hopefully, it come very true in near future. Being a wedding photographer is one of the best things I can do for myself. I love to freeze people treasure moment in their life, I feel like I am a superwoman. I love the sense of responsibility and I love the enjoyment of the clients satisfied and love the photos. I'm willing to hear whatever criticisms about my work too even though it's hardest I feel. I never dreamed being a wedding photographer before. I don't even know what as a wedding photographer and I don't even know what is photographer, is it a job? I never have a seen camera as a little girl and what I remember is there's time for a class photo and our photo will be taken, I remember I love that, and I know everyone does.So, you may curious, since when I love photography? and why did I choose to do it?how is it feel?



When this passion started?
After my breakup, I really don't know what to do in my life? Yes, I go to work but I feel so empty. I feel like the world just ended. Back then, I am not a DREAMER and always the FOLLOWER of other people dreams.I have tried many things like try to do wedding planner, being crafty then start to try fashion blogger. I love being fashion blogger but that time I don't really like my fashion photos and nobody really can spend time with me if I want take my outfit photos.Then, I searched on Google, how to take a better photos for blog? Then, I found one blog that talked about how she used to take photo by herself using tripod and camera DSLR. I wonder, that DSLR is the expensive camera? I am so desperate for my photo looking good and really want to make it as fashion blogger in Malaysia(my hope that time). So, I saved up money after asking the camera shop how much the price for the camera. After I got enough, I went to the same camera shop and purchased it. I feel crazy and out of my mind. My family will be mad at me for purchasing an expensive camera but the "desperation" to make my dream come true is push me and make me do it.
After bought the camera, I think it will be easy to achieve the better look photos but it's not. I need to learn how to use the camera and practice it.So, that's what I did. I studied it online and go practice what I've learned at Putrajaya park after my work hours. It's tiring but I want my photo to look better. Then, at one moment, it's looking good and I'm so happy. But, the problem is no friend that can learn the same thing with me so that's the time I took my tripod and remote for my photography for my outfit shoot.

My wedding photography experience so far
The result of the outfit shoot using my tripod make my first potential client asked me to try to take her photo during her wedding day. She is my relative from my village. I will never forget the first time I went to take photos of the wedding day. I feel nervous but I'm thankful as I'm just a second or not main photographer so I feel a bit relief. The second wedding is my best friend's wedding, it's a night wedding and my skills for night wedding just terrible that time, sorry my dear friend but I love the photos because I took it with my whole heart.
My third wedding, I learned a lessons that really make me feel this job is not easy at all. I need to keep upgrading and improve my knowledge and skills. The fourth wedding also makes learn many lessons too. All these weddings make me keep wanting upgrading and improve myself for the sake of the dreams.
I've shoot 6 weddings so far and the experience is different and I've learned a lot of lessons from each of the wedding.
Everytime I shoot people wedding day, I feel so responsible to freeze the moment and I love doing that. I feel like I'm being a superwomen that can freeze time. That's one of the reason I love taking wedding photos. I know there's a lot of challenge but I choose to take a risks and do it!
You can check out my wedding photography on this link. I still have to learn more and do more or
you can check below too.
Nelsion&Alice Wedding Day 
Lipanus & Hartiny Wedding Day
Dominnoe & Salviah Wedding Day
George & Mika Wedding Day
Newton & Ellis Wedding Day
Medtro Bayak & Lyntia Ping Wedding Day 

I can't let go of other things in my life
At the same time, I can't give up on my full-time job, my involvement in local church youth ministry and my personal life too because of my wedding photography. It's so hard to divide the time and I still learn to do so now and I hope I am getting better at time management for my life.There's time my photography becomes less priority for me which make me so sad. I will try my best to spend my time more with my camera and shoot beautiful photos.

Choose to do what I love
I don't what ahead of me but I want to choose to keep doing what I love even at any stage of my life. I want to keep freeze the moment and even make a better job than freeze the moment.

Finally, I want you guys to know that you can do what you love if you choose to.
No one can make your dream come true but you.If you feel like there's no way you can make it come true, why did you dream about it?
DARE TO DREAM, DARE TO DO IT.

Love,
Aya