The honest and supportive advice for new parents

 

Being a parent for the first time is not easy. 

It took time, hard work and persistence to go through all challenges and unexpected events.

We became a parent in July 2020. The first day was so exciting but the following days a challenging. When I write on my blog, I never sugar cot what I write so you feel good when read it. I am being really honest here.

So, here are my honest and supportive advice for new parents.

Nobody truly prepared to be a parent.

When you decided to get married and that's naturally you agreed to be a parent someday. 

For us, we want to be parents as early as we can. Thank God, that come true as I'm pregnant after one month married. During my pregnancy, I get ready to be a parent. I read a lot of books, articles and talk about them with my friends that already married. Most of my friends told me it's not easy but I feel that I will be able to manage. 

But, when come to it, there's one point, you will start to feel like you are not prepared to be a parent. Remember that nobody is truly prepared to be a parent. What most important is you go with the flow and enjoy the stage/season of your life.

Everyone has figured things out

No new parent become an expert when they become a parent. Everything need to figure out, don't feel stupid for not knowing that and this, everyone has experienced that moment. What most important is you are ready to learn and unlearn many new things.

You don't have to be happy all the time

You are human after all. You did not become superhuman after you become a parent. When you feel sad, just feel sad, when you feel it's hard, just admit it's hard, just go with it.

Just the difference now is there someone that looks at you and you got to be strong for that person which is your children.

Get out of the house

Staying in the house with children can make you feel stuffy and it's not really good for your child development as well. So, get out of the house sometimes. Its make you feel good too. Ambil angin orang kata.

Learn to forgive yourself

I don't know about you, I do feel guilty after my son goes to sleep. I feel that I'm not doing my best for him, I feel I'm not entertaining him well and have many thoughts.

Learn to forgive yourself, you're not a robot after all. You are human.

It's okay to hate some of your parenthood journeys

Let be honest, no new parent enjoy their parenthood journey. There are a lot of things you need to do, figure out and at the same time, you still do what you do before you become a parent. It's okay to hate it sometimes but don't hate it too much lah. Enjoy the moment and this moment will pass someday.

Having children is tough on a marriage but its worth it.

I heard people say, " After having children, your relationship will strengthen". Sometimes I agreed and sometimes I feel it's not like that. 

Having children is tough on marriage but that is why you're married. Our children are a gift of our marriage so I will take care of a baby with all of my heart and also love my husband just like I did before. It's not easy but I am trying.

Your children will be always your top priority

It's no longer about you and you only. Especially if you're a working mom/parent, you will be always in between work and your child's health. My advice is always to choose your child first and catch up on the work after that. It will be never easy but that's life.

Today is a bad day and tomorrow will be a fresh day.

Not every day is a good day just like your life before.

Before having children, your life is also not good life all the time. The difference now is you have your children on your bad day and good day. When it's a bad day, remember tomorrow will be a fresh day.

Be patient and calm always

Nothing can beat these two combination. There will be challenges you need to face but be patient and calm always. Even the storm is getting bigger and biggest, be calm and patient.

Working together to make it easier

Being a parent is all about teamwork. Never ever do everything alone.

You have your husband so why not do everything together. The child is your responsibility. When one party slack off, voice out! Don't keep it.

It will get better 

Everything on this earth is not permanent. Not your current journey. It will be pass and it will get better.

Sleep sleep... truly sleep

After being a parent, to be honest, it's hard to sleep like you used to. For me, I need to wake up 2-3 times, it depends on my son's mood and condition. If he sick, then we can't sleep at all. When our baby is just a is newborn, we practice shift, I mean I will sleep 9pm -12am and during this time my husband will take care of our newborn. After 12am, my husband will sleep and I will take over to take care of our baby. 

Now our son is a toddler, we wake up together taking care of him. I feel its not good when just one wake up, kena dua-dua juga baru best.

If you recently become a parent, what do you think? Its helpful for you.

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