My hubba fatherhood journey

This post is dedicated to my hubba, Maclare.

I'm not sure if he will read this or not? haha. I never asked him to read my blog. I hope he read it as this post is dedicated to him and also, I want to share the glimpse of being a father to a new father out there.

Being a father is not easy same as being a mother.

For me, entering motherhood is misery and I know it the same to my husband. When I admitted to hospital on 29 June 2020 3am, saying goodbye at the front door of the hospital is one of the hardest, its my first time sleeping without him in 2020. My husband took leave for one week and he just to ulang-alik from our house to the hospital to wait for me to deliver the baby. He can't come to take care of me due to COVID-19, he just waits outside the hospital ward. I knew its very hard for him to keep waiting and waiting... we just connected via WhatsApp.

Most of the time, I write my experience on my blog about being a mother and never mentioned about my husband being a father. I know he faces a lot of new things just like me.

For this past three months, I am truly blessed to called Maclare as my husband as he is wonderful and great father. I can't say more, just see his photos with our son.

This is their first met.

They met at the front door of the hospital, he can't touch or hold him due to precaution of COVID-19. He just can take a photo.

After this moment, me and our baby need to stayed at the hospital for two days. I gave birth on 1/July/2020, 9.30pm and discharged to ward from labor room at 2 July 2020, 2am. Then, we spent days at the hospital from 2/July - 3/July.

On 4th of July, we finally discharged and finally my husband can hold our baby in his arm.

Also, three of us can sleep together with our baby. But, the first night is rough... we are clueless. Our baby keeps crying and we don't know what to do other than trying to give him breastmilk which that time not really have and actually he slowly get jaundice this time.

This is the moment we realized, our son got jaundice and the bumpy journey is started.

I keep crying but my husband keep calm and really try to make me feel strong. When I think back, I'm thankful he keep calm, not like me panicking.

After my son admitted to NICU, Putrajaya for 5 days, we can't really take care of him as we can't stay with him. During this time, I always cried because I missed our baby and I feel really bad for not being able to take care of him.

After 5 days finally our son was discharged.

Look what my husband done... hahaha