Getting married is one big decision you will make in your life. The decision that you can't reverse. You may said, if the marriage doesn't work, we can divorce. If you have this kind of thinking from the start,I can say, you're not having a right mindset in marriage. You need to have a right mindset to get married. Getting married is for lifetime, its not getting divorce.
In my personal opinion, getting married is just like gambling. I gamble all my life to the man that I choose so that's why it's very very important to get to know each other well before come to decision. If you seen many red flags or you just know he is not the one, be brave to stop the relationship.
For me, don't just marry your boyfriend just because love. Love can fade or change someday. But, you need to marry him when you can see and feel the LOVE + COMMITMENT+ EFFORTS.
My mom has told me before, if I want to get married, I must marry the man that love me more than I love him. I totally agree with my mom on this.
Why? Man are created to pursue women. Yes, I still has the traditional mind. But, I can't really agree seeing women pursue men! I think it's against hukum alam!
So, when come to decision to get married, there simple things that you need to evaluate yourself and use your brain to think whether its the best for you. If you feel like your brain is not working well because you feel you're blind bcz of love, ask your closw friend or family what they think.
For me, how do I know I'm ready to get married?
1. You feel READY! ( You know yourself lah)
I can't really explain on how to know you are ready! You know it yourself.
For me, I know I'm ready when my husband fulfil or check all my main checklist. You must be curious, what are my main criteria checklist?
First and foremost, he is Christian man! Must be really fear God and live like Christian, not just Christian by name.
Second is he must hardworking, have a job and know how to earn money.
Third is he must ready to get married too.
I won't lists all my checklists here but I have long list actually.
Of course my husband not checked all criteria but mostly he checked it so that's why.
2. You feel PEACE with your decision
After you know that you're ready, next you can feel that you feel PEACE with your decision. You will feel there's no bad feeling ( your heart know it if he is not the one), all things you planned will go smoothly, there will be bumpy but you just feel positive about it.
I don't know how to describe this peace feeling... but you will just feel peace with your decision.
2. You looking forward for your future with your partner
After my husband and I getting engaged, I always looking forward for our big day. It's 1 year away but it's seem so near...haha biasalahhh..
If you feel otherwise, think back and if can, think harder. If possible, get counsaltion from your church leaders.
3. You and your partner obviously love + commited to each other
This one is so obvious lah. No one get married if they are not love each other, right?
But, as I said before, never ever get married out of love but never ever married just because love. Married because you're madly and insanely in love and really to commit to that love.
Cinta saja tak menjanjikan kebahagian tetapi cinta + komited terhadap satu sama lain akan membahagiakan.
4. It meet your checklist
Believe or not, I had my checklist on who guy I want to marry. My first on the list was the man must same religion with me. Why this is important to me?
Life is not always smooth, there will be up and down.So, I thought during the hard time, we can pray together. I don't want to be pray cara masing- masing, I feel that is not satu hati.
5. You can afford to get married
Getting married is not cheap and this is the starting point for you and your partner to have a hard time. I think almost people don't really save money from long time ( example: save money for 5 years to get married) but maybe just 1- 2 years and that money will be not enough but you both work hard to make it happen.
What's your opinion?
Please share your thoughts.