"Learn how to take care of yourself so that the man you marry is the man you choose to be with and not just the man who will take care of you."
When I read this statement on one of my favourite books, I totally agree with it. In my personal opinion, this is what every woman should put on their mindset. We are capable to take care of ourselves and not waiting for the man that we want to take care of us. I don't say we don't need a man because God created man to help us.But, I always believe a woman have right to be independent while being depends on her husband.
So, here is my story on being an independent woman.
When I'm with my ex-boyfriend, I don't consider myself as an independent woman. I thought I will end up with him, I mean marrying him so I no need to really work so hard. He will take care of me because I take care of him. I don't know why I have that kind of mindset but now I know why! I didn't look enough around and I didn't read. I feel like a dumb woman. But, thanks to the heartbroken experience. I learned a lesson and it's a wake-up call for me. I learned to be on my own. It's a hard process. I constantly feel so alone. But, here are the tips!
FIND GOD.
That's what I'm doing. Really! I feel like nobody understands me at all but when I prayed and cried to God, I feel someone is there for me. So, when you lose love, don't go find it or begging for it but go after God. Look for God. I am thankful for this breakthrough moment for me. I am thankful I was dumped. I am thankful that I have heartbroken. I really learn to stand on my own and go after whatever I want in my life. Thank you, next.
Then, after the breakup, I remain single for 3 years before I met my fiancé. During that time, I consider myself an independent woman because I did almost everything on my own. I started to love eating on my own, a go-to workshop on my own and everything lah. I did everything on my own without need someone to help. If I need help, I will ask from my girlfriends. But, I am a normal girl so of course, I need a man! not just to take care of me but I love to be loved by a man.
Thanks God! After 3 years + being single, I met my fiancé. God's plan is beautiful! The timing is perfect and I am grateful for what He did to my life. I met someone that allow me to be independent and at the same time being dependent on him too as he is the main of the family. But above him is our God. I am thankful for having someone that always say, I got you! someone that shared the burden with me and someone that just be there with me even we have nothing left. Just being with each other. I still consider myself as an independent now because I still do everything on my own but I also help my partner which I love to do.
Being independent women doesn't mean you don't need a man. A good man to be with is a man that allows you to be independent and support you in everything you do or sometimes criticized you lah...haha. But, I love that. I don't need someone that everytime flattering me but I need someone say hard words to me so I am not so comfortable. If I am too comfortable, I will not going anywhere.
Finally, being independent women doesn't mean you don't need a man. God created man so he can helps us for things that we unable to do. God created a woman and man to help each other to achieve the life that God has designed for them.
So, women! don't stop being independent even after get married or having a childs. I know, your man is everything for you.
But, God is above all.
Before I end this post, I would to hear your independent women story. Please comment below.
Thank you very much for reading!
Love,
Aya
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